So, you do what any fugly girl would do:
1. Search Youtube for “best undereye concealer tutorial”
2. Repin “best ab workout” on Pinterest
3. Practice teeth-concealing smiles for your Facebook profile pic
4. Order ProActive online (because Katy Perry said it works)
Great! Sounds like you have a fabulous “look hot” plan — the problem is, it might take a while for you to see results. In the meantime, you will have to endure being painfully fugly … UNLESS … you can find a way to feel beautiful.
Lucky for you, I’ve been working on this feel beautiful concept during a few of my personal “I’m so fugly it hurts” phases (mostly pms-induced).
The following tips are my simple solutions for fugliness-related self-loathing:
STEP 1: TURN OFF THE T.V.
I know this sounds strange, but watching the Victoria’s Secret Runway Show is doing your self-image no favors. Neither is Kim K’s perfectly contoured face. Seriously. Turn it off.
In fact, turn off the television or change the channel any time you see a female image that makes you stare in self-loathing awe, envy, or wishful admiration. No matter how hard you watch, you WILL NOT wake up looking like Miranda Kerr. Turn off the TV. Miranda will still be unbelievably gorgeous — YOU just won’t be obsessing over her.
STEP 2: BUY CLOTHES THAT FIT
If keeping your “too small” clothes were going to motivate you to lose weight, you’d be wearing them already. Go buy bigger pants, woman. Muffin tops magically disappear when you wear pants that fit.
Your body is uncomfortable in “too small” clothes — which constantly reminds you how uncomfortable you are in your body. Why are you torturing your body and your mind? Buy clothes that fit. And stop freaking out about the size. I wear anything from a size 00 to a size 6. The digits on your clothing have as much to do with your body shape as your social security number.
STEP 3: ACT KIND
This one really works. Begin your fugliest days with a kind act. Give the lady at the coffee shop a sincere compliment. Clear the snow off of a neighbor’s car. Call your Nana just to say hi.
It’s incredible how you walk away feeling all kinds of good. The whole muffin-top thing is so trivial after you’ve spent the evening volunteering at a homeless shelter.
STEP 4: EAT HEALTHY FOOD
You know the difference between looking fat and feeling fat? You look fat if you are obese. You feel fat after you polish off a cream-filled doughnut. Eat food that you feel proud of eating. You’ll feel skinny even if you look the same as you have every day for the past 15 years. Don’t do it for weight loss — do it for the pride you’ll feel in treating your body well.
STEP 5: TAKE A MOMENT FOR YOURSELF
For goodness sake, wake up a little early and run a flat iron through your hair. Lay out your clothes the night before. You can’t cry “fugly” when you haven’t waxed your upper lip or changed out of your Crocs in the last three months. A slight brow arch, a touch of concealer and some lipgloss can take fugly to fabulous in a matter of minutes. While you’re at it, invest in a good bra that fits. Gravity spares no one … no one.
Here’s the takeaway:
If your happiness lies in looking like the gorgeous people you see on television – you will never, ever, ever be happy. You’re not a Giselle, a Nicole Kidman, or a Rihanna. Those people are brands. You’re a person. The things you DO contribute to your self-esteem as much, if not more, than how you look.
• If you feel fugly because of something that you can change (like your outfit) — change it.
• If you feel fugly because of things that are resistant to change (like your hereditary dark circles or stubborn belly pooch), throw on some concealer, buy a control top granny panty, and go do something nice for another human being.
Find reasons to be proud of you — not just your packaging. Your fugly self-esteem will follow.